Loyal American Taxpayer

Certificate

I hereby affirm and make it known to all:

  1. I am intelligient enough to earn my money but not smart enough to spend it properly; therefore, I happily surrender ever greater amounts of my money each year to the government so that it can give it to those worthier than myself and spend it on projects that I, in my selfishness, would waste on my desires, wants, and needs.

  2. I have accepted the principle that those who can better afford it should pay more, regardless of the commandment against coveting thy neighbor's goods. The government has my approval to use force against my neighbors and anyone else to take as much as it can to pay for whatever people, projects or purposes it deems proper, regardless of the commandment forbidding theft. Our modern guiding principle should be:
    From each according to his ability, to each according to his need (Karl Marx)

  3. I believe that the government knows best how to teach children and that most parents have the wrong set of values and are incapable of properly raising children. Therefore, I agree that the government should force parents to send their children to government-run and approved schools, and force all taxpayers to pay for them, so that the children will grow up to be obedient and loyal citizens and taxpayers.

Signature_______________________________________________________________________
Your signature on this form testifies that you are a loyal and government-approved citizen.


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